Crash (I'll Be Here)
by SEESpr
Summary: "Aphenphosmphobia", also called fear of intimacy, describes the morbid fear of being touched by or getting intimate with another person. Shouto is caught in the path his father laid out for him, trying to understand the world he never came to know; Momo suffers from her lack of self-esteem and feeling of not being enough for her dreams to come true. [arranged marriage] [todomomo]
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Those hardest to love need it most**  
 _A father's greed restricts even the purest souls, a mother's embrace melts even the coldest hearts._  
 _An introduction to Todoroki Shouto._

"Your duty is to surpass All Might. That is the reason you were made," was the first reason his father gave him for the rigorous and painful training Shouto had to endure at five years of age. He learned fast – Not how to control his flames or how to freeze only specific parts of his environment, but why he was born. It wasn't because of love. His father didn't give him so much attention because he was his son, but because he was a soldier in a war his father lost.

Of course it was okay to be sad to never be able to catch up to the first place in this hero society.

But this…this was not sadness.

The only thing it was was _madness_.

If Shouto ever had a side of him that believed in the good of people, it died the day his father imposed this fate to him. He started to believe it. He wasn't a human worthy of familiar love. He was only a tool for his father to fulfill his broken dreams.

He would have believed that, if it weren't for his mother protecting him all she could. Rei Todoroki protected him. Comforted him. Even if it pained her to look at his left side which resembled his father so much. The bright red hair and his aqua blue eye – It would've looked just the same if it weren't for the beautiful innocent glow only a child's eyes could have. But he looked like her as well, if she just looked at his right side, tried to ignore all of the pain she associated with his other half.

If Shouto ever had a side of him that believed in love, it died the day his mother poured boiling water over his face. She told him his left side was unsightly. Of course it was, Shouto understood, since it was too similar to the man that tormented her many years of her life. How was she supposed to love him when all she saw was pain?

He would've just wished that wasn't the last time he saw her.

It seemed to him like his very existence made her suffer. That was the very reason he never went to visit her in the hospital.

And over the years, he must've forgotten what it was like to be cradled in his mother's arms. To feel protected of everything, even if he knew she couldn't protect him from his father's greed.

With her disappearance, he stopped receiving any kind affection. Neither verbally, nor physically.

He stopped _liking_ physical affection. Sure, his sister tried, but even her hugs didn't comfort him.

His mother's cold arms always seemed warmer than any fire his father blasted at him to make him stronger.

Shouto was rebellious about his father's flames for a really long time, and he never thought he would change his view of his left side. That was before he entered UA, before he met new people, which actually weren't even that bad. And that was before the sports festival happened and Midoriya literally hit him with the knowledge that his Quirk was not his father's, it was his own. What he did with that Quirk was completely his own decision.

After the sports festival, he went to visit his mother for the first time.

The decision of visiting her again was not one he made easily. He was lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling. It had been ten years since he'd last seen her.

Would it even be okay for him to visit her? He was afraid he would trigger her again, as the reason she was in that hospital was his sole existence.

But the doctor would surely throw him out if it wasn't okay for him to visit her. Would she even want to see him again? No, that couldn't be it either, as Fuyumi had asked him to come along many times before.

He couldn't be sure how she would react, but he wasn't going to find out if he stayed away. Shouto sighed. He wanted to meet her again. He missed her. That's all he knew. And since the sports festival happened and all of those memories with her represented in his head, he missed her even more.

If he wanted to aim to become a hero again, he would have to meet her, that's all he was sure of.

And like this, in the depths of night, he decided he would go to the hospital.

'A good night of sleep' still wasn't in for him. He played all possible scenarios in his head. Every possible outcome and every reaction he could imagine manifested in his mind.

It was still really early when he got up that morning. He was still in his pajamas, walking into the kitchen.

His sister was already sitting there, pushing back her glasses as she was reading the newspapers. In front of her was a colorful mug of probably coffee. When she heard his quiet footsteps, she looked up confused as their father was not awaited home until dinner, as he went out late last night because of a villain attack in the city.

"Shouto? What are you doing up at…" she turned to look at the clock behind her "…six thirty on a day where you are supposed to rest?" she said.

Her brother didn't answer, he just rubbed his still sleepy eyes. She smiled at him before getting up. "Tea? Or Coffee?" she then asked.

Shouto usually didn't drink coffee, but he probably looked as tired as Aizawa at the moment.

"Coffee sounds great," he answered while sitting down at the kitchen table on the opposite side of where she sat.

"Well, I know why I'm awake this early since I'm going to work later, but why are you sleepyhead awake?" she asked again, putting down the mug full of milked coffee in front of him. Black coffee was too bitter, but sugar to sweet, so milk was the perfect in between, so his sister knew. He took a little sip. The mug was light blue, a few little ice crystals printed on it. He didn't know how it survived in his father's household but didn't question it further.

"I'll visit mom toady," he said before taking another sip and putting the mug down again.

"What? Really? Why now?" she asked but didn't get an answer, as her brother was silently staring at the ice crystals on his mug.

Later that morning, Shouto got dressed and prepared himself to go to the hospital. "Shouto? Is it really fine not to tell dad?" she asked. "Yeah," he answered while putting on his second shoe.

After that he left the house and walked to the hospital. He had thought about riding the bus, but he had so much on his mind that he had to think through that he decided to take the long way. What was he supposed to say to her? Would she recognize him? What if she got sad again?

What…What if she rejected him?

When he finally reached the hospital, Shouto stopped for a moment. He looked at the building. So that's where his mother was imprisoned all this time?

His father…as well as him imprisoned her in her own mind. So much she actually snapped after all. She had to suffer because she was protecting him. He should've been stronger, he should've protected her from all this.

Shouto took a deep breath and exhaled as he took another step forward, walking to the entrance of the hospital and entering the building. He first looked around a little, searching for the front desk in the giant entrance hall.

When he finally saw it, he walked up to it. The receptionist was a young woman, maybe in her mid-twenties, having dark hair.

"Good morning! How can I help you?" she asked him smiling. Next to her was another woman with little horns on top of her head who was filling out charts.

"Uh…Hello. I'm here to see my mother," he said, already taking his ID out of his bag.

"What is your mother's name?" she then asked, already typing hastily on her computer.

"Todoroki Rei," he answered but was flashed by their reactions. The woman behind the desk quickly turned to look at her colleague who nodded back.

"Todoroki…Shouto?" she then asked him hesitantly. Shouto was confused. How did this woman know his name? He still nodded. Her colleague looked just as dazed as her.

"You're finally here! Give me that. I'll do the paperwork. You can pick it up when you leave. Go up and visit your mother. Now," she said quickly, taking his ID and continuing to type.

She could probably sense his confusion as he was still just standing there, not able to comprehend the situation.

"We've seen the sports festival! Your mother talks about you at lot. Now go. She's on the third floor, room 315," she explained again smiling.

Shouto nodded again while walking to the elevators.

His mother…talked about him a lot? He couldn't comprehend that.

When he reached the floor his mother was on, he started trembling. He was nervous. So, so nervous. Standing in front of her door, he looked at both the room number and the name again, just to be sure. He took another deep breath, exhaling slowly before pushing the door open a little. He looked inside, saw his mother looking out the window. He took a step in. She was holding a picture in her hand. One he recognized, even though it was pretty old. He was maybe two or three? All of them were on the picture, even his two brothers. It was from happier times, times before his Quirk developed.

Slowly she turned around to him.

"Mom?" he asked hesitantly.

She blinked two times before her eyes went wide.

"Shouto?" she asked while putting the picture down and getting up. Tears were slowly quelling in her eyes.

He was nodding and she almost ran to him.

She stumbled a little, but that didn't stop her at all. Only when she stood right in front of him did she stop. She looked him up and down, her hands hovering right beside his arms. In her eyes he could see the silent question.

He nodded again, feeling a stinging in his eyes he wouldn't let turn into tears.

 _His mother's cold arms always seemed warmer than any fire his father blasted at him to make him stronger._

Quickly she wrapped her arms around him. He put his head in the crane of her neck.

She was shaking.

Her right hand caressed his back, while his left went up and stroked through his dual colored hair, without any hesitation this time.

He gently wrapped his arms around her, embracing her with all of the pent up grief, sorrow and feeling of being apart.

It only made things worse, as she was now crying, sobbing and sniffling.

They stayed like this for a long time.

With one final sniffle, she pulled back and looked him over again. "You've gotten so tall," she noted, voice rough from crying. She was caressing his arms.

"Sit down with me?" she then asked wiping away the tears while looking at her bed on the other side of the room. Shouto did not trust his voice yet, so he just nodded again. He followed her and took place right beside her.

She took both of his hands in hers, smiling for a brief moment.

It was the same. His hands still were slightly different in temperature.

She took in his looks, eyes stopping at the scar on his blue eye. Her left hand let go of his and she slowly put it up to his face, hovering right above the scarred skin.

She looked into his eyes questioningly.

All Shouto felt was the lump in his throat. He couldn't speak so he took her hand again and put it on his face.

She swallowed hard while brushing his red hair out of his face, tracing the outline of the scar.

She took her other hand out of his to put it on her mouth to stifle a cry.

"I'm sorry, Shouto. I'm so so sorry," she said quietly through her fingers, voice still a little hoarse, while new tears found their way down her face.

"It's okay," he answered, his voice breaking midway.

"No, it's not okay. You're my little baby boy. Just what have I done?" she said again.

He put his hand on the one that was tracing his scar and took it away from his face. She was crying harder, thinking he might resent her for it, but he wrapped his arm around her again, holding her hand in between them.

He began stroking her back, just like she did for him all those years ago.

"I forgive you, mom," he said quietly and she sniffled again, before she quietly nodded. She then stroked his back again, putting her hands in his soft hair.

 _Why was it that his mother's hugs were the only physical affection that brought him comfort?_

She pulled them apart a little, took his face in both her hands and angled it all kinds of ways. Shouto did not understand.

But she was smiling and nodding, her face still a little wet from the tears.

"I knew you would become a handsome young man one day!" she said and he blinked.

She wasn't sad about him not answering, since she had already learned about his distant personality from his siblings.

Shouto looked at her smiling face, asking himself again how it all ended up this way.

Why did she have to suffer because of him? Why couldn't he protect her from all this?

 _Why would she have to spend her life in this tiny hospital room?_

He felt the stinging in his eyes again, trying to blink it away as he couldn't stop what was on his mind anymore.

"I'm so sorry, mom. I'm sorry for not being able to protect you. I'm sorry for letting you get hurt. I'm sorry for never having visited you. I'm so-"

He would've gone on if she didn't put a finger on his lips to stop him from talking. She took his head and put her forehead on his.

"It's okay, Shouto. I'm not angry. I know it must've been hard," she said quietly. He could feel his cheek getting wet and wanted to pull away but she didn't let him. "It's fine. Even heroes need to cry sometimes," she whispered. He nodded but quickly got himself together. He gently pulled away and put his hands on her arms.

"Mom, I'll save you from this place," he said determinedly. She was still smiling but she started shaking her head.

"No, I'd be happy- No, I'd be saved if you just moved on without anything holding you back," she said rubbing his arms. Without anything holding him back?

"Do you think I can become a hero?" he then asked the question he dreaded all along. He looked at the floor now.

He had to look up at her again when he heard her giggling behind her hand.

"You already are, Shouto. You are _my_ hero."

His eyes went wide. Her smile grew wider.

"I've told you that before, when you were little, but I'll have to repeat it. You can be the hero you want to be. You can be the man you want to be. You are not bound by your blood. Make your own decisions and carve your own path. Because I know you can."

Shouto couldn't suppress the stinging in his eyes anymore. He cried. He openly cried. His cheeks grew wet and he didn't know what to do as all he knew for crying was punishment.

"I love you, Shouto. Always remember that. Whatever you decide to do, or whoever you decide to become: I'll be with you."

She wiped the tears away with the palms of her hands and smiled at him as if he was a jackpot in the lottery.

"Love ya too, mom," he whispered and knew the words were true as soon as he said them.

 _Maybe that side of him, the one that believed in love, wasn't dead after all._

* * *

His father always had a plan for his life laid out for him. Probably even before he developed his Quirk. Of course, it must've been obvious to Endeavor, since his traits were split in half.

His father's plan was simple. Enter UA, graduate UA, become a top hero, beat All Might and bring pride to his family. Fulfill the dream his father never could. That alone made Shouto fume with anger – Was his life really going the way his father wanted? Had he already planned out a heroic death for him?

Well, he asked if he'd already planned who he was going to marry – The answer was pretty obvious.

Of course it was yes.

It's not like Shouto was surprised. He was still disappointed though.

Getting angry at his father didn't do him any good. He realized that again when he fought Sero during the sports festival. Once he got angry, he would lash out. And if he lashed out, he would hurt others.

 _It was another one of fate's jokes that he inherited this shitty trait from his old man, wasn't it?_

They had been sitting at the dining table, dinner halfway eaten. Fuyumi, his older sister, was sitting right in front of him while his old man occupied the head of the table. It was already really late, since Enji came directly from hunting down a pair of villains. Rice with vegetables and chicken, one of his sister's best tasting dishes. He still preferred Soba though.

"Well then, when's the wedding?" Shouto had asked with his eyebrows raised, trying his best to suppress his anger.

At that time he would've thought the marriage would be sometime once he was a real hero. Once he graduated. Or once he turned legally twenty or something.

Fuyumi looked back and forth between them. She hadn't known about that.

Shouto hadn't really had any contact to his siblings while growing up, since he always had to polish his fighting skills. But since he entered high school and stopped the homeschooling, his sister tried to tie them together. In the last month they probably saw each other more often than in the ten years before.

"Since it is for an equal exchange, and her parents need the money, it will be when both of you are sixteen. Don't worry, her Quirk will be worthy of yours," he answered seriously. As if the Quirk would be the reason Shouto worried. That's probably thething he cared about least. His father didn't notice the look his daughter gave him. She had stopped eating her rice to stare at them. She was utterly confused.

How was he supposed to marry next year? He had never even had a girlfriend. Even though he guessed that wouldn't be the case for many more years to come anyway. And he still didn't figure out how actual working relationships were supposed to look like, since his parents weren't the best example. Or if it was even possible for him to work one out. He knew he had absolutely no social skill, so how do you get a girlfriend when you can't even make friends in the first place?

Endeavor then went on with his tirade. "Even though she didn't do that well-"

"Are you serious? Next year?" Shouto interrupted. Now his voice did sound a little angry. "You know that marriage for males in Japan is not allowed until eighteen years of age, even with parental permission."

"I'm the number two hero. Do you think such a pity law would stop me?"

Well – It didn't stop him from years of neglecting and abusing wife and children, so Shouto's answer was clear.

"No. No, it wouldn't."

It was silent at the table. Fuyumi didn't say a word even though she looked like she could write a book with all the words stuck inside her head at the moment.

"I'm glad you're finally accepting your fate, Shouto," Endeavor started, while Shouto just blinked at him, "Just follow the path I'm making for you and everything will turn out perfectly. Sure, it's a pity it has to be so soon, but I'm sure it's going to be okay. If you're going to be the number one hero, this little obstacle won't stop you," he said. Now Shouto stopped eating as well.

Obstacle? Did he really see a marriage as an obstacle which has to be overcome? Shouto shrugged. Of course he did. He only cared about having powerful offspring.

He probably never even considered mom as the wife he was supposed to love.

"I'm not accepting anything. Just because I stopped rebelling regarding my Quirk-use, I won't just accept the life you planned for me," Shouto answered his father.

"You will. You say you want to go your own way, then why does it always end up being the same as the one I lay out for you?", Enji said while taking another portion of meat.

"Well if it's like that, how am I gonna die?"

"Shouto!" his sister interrupted the discussion, before anyone could set the table on fire - Wouldn't be the first time that happened.

"What? It's true."

"Dad, what is all this about? Did you arrange a Quirk-marriage for Shouto?" Fuyumi asked Enji, who was calmly eating his rice.

"Yes, the deal was made when he was five."

His sister swallowed. She pushed her glasses back on her nose. Shouto knew this was a sign that she was trying to change their father's mind, which was never a good idea.

"But don't you think it's a bit too early for him to marry at sixteen? I mean, I'm over twenty already but I don't feel like I'm ready to marry yet," she tried carefully.

"It's early, yes. But not too early. I'm sure he knows how children are made."

Shouto blinked. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to be embarrassed, like his sister was, but he wasn't really caught on that, being in rage.

"And that's an argument since it's the only reason you married?" he instead offered. He knew saying that probably wasn't very smart. But he was in rage and couldn't care less. His father surprised him by calmly ending the discussion.

"This is not an argument since this is not a discussion. The deal stands. You'll marry her. It doesn't matter if you want to."

Shouto took that as his cue to get up.

"Thanks for the food, sis," he started, "I guess _my_ opinion regarding _my_ life never mattered anyway." He was about to leave the room when he turned around again.

"By the way, I'll do the field training at your agency. Teach me how to use my flames, _father_ ," he said as he closed the door to the dining room.

He put his hands in his pants' pockets while walking up the stairs to his room, muttering a silent 'Bastard' under his breath. When he reached it, he entered and closed the door behind him. Just when he laid out his futon and took a seat while pulling out his phone there was a knock on his door.

Glancing up, he saw how his sister entered. She never waited for an answer, especially when she knew that there wouldn't be one. Most interestingly, she never barged in when there was anything to interrupt, which could mainly be because her brother wasn't actually doing anything most of the time.

He spent his time in the training room downstairs. This seemed to be something that stuck with him, even if his father didn't force him to train, he still did.

Shouto guessed it was routine.

"Hey," his sister started, while walking up to him, awkwardly ruffling her white hair with red streaks, "May I sit?" she asked. He nodded. Closing her eyes, she sighed before taking place right next to him on the Tatami flooring. Shouto put his phone down to give her attention.

"What's up?" he asked deadpan.

That made her sigh again.

"Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?" she asked while looking him in the eyes. What for? Maybe she was trying to figure out what he was thinking.

Still his answer was clear.

"I'm fine."

He didn't truly understand why she started shaking her head. She reached out with her arms while coming closer to him.

"Can I hug you?"

"Sure," he answered. He wasn't really fond of hugs or general physical affection, since he couldn't make any sense of them. They didn't bring him any comfort.

His sister knew that, so the hug probably only soothed her nerves. He would still hug her when she needed him. He didn't want to snap at her. The only reason he was angry was his father.

He didn't really like being touched.

There was only one person whose hugs had ever soothed was also the only person that ever hugged him with his feelings in only one to ever stand up against his father.

Until she broke and poured boiling water over his face.

Whenever he let someone get close enough to him to feel safe, to feel loved, they disappeared.

As a consequence, he stopped letting people get close to him.

Because if he did…

They'd leave him alone anyway.

She reached around him and put his head in her neck, wrapping her arms around his back.

"Tell me, what do you feel? Are you angry? Lost? Afraid? Please tell me, I'm worrying about you. I didn't know, I swear, I didn't know," she whimpered and he could feel her shoulders shaking. She was about to cry.

"It's fine, Fuyumi. I don't mind," he lied.

Of course he minded. He didn't even know that girl, yet he was supposed to marry her next year? A marriage was shaping a lifetime, even if it didn't last. He didn't want to spend his life with someone he's never met. It wasn't even about 'rebelling against his father' anymore.

He gave that up already, knowing it would be smarter to take his father's knowledge as number two hero. Yet letting Endeavor choose a wife for him? That _could_ only go wrong.

"Don't lie to me, Shouto. Please don't lie to me. I know it must be hard," she wiped away her tears with her hand, "Okay, no, I don't know. I can't possibly know. So please don't push everyone away. I'm your sister, you can tell me."

Shouto was as stiff as ice in her arms.

He knew he always pushed people away.

He was so caught up in his 'fate' that he couldn't see the people around him. People, that didn't resent him. People, that didn't use him.

Since the sports festival, he was just confused. He had no idea what to do.

Use his flames, suppress his flames.

He had automatically distanced himself from everyone in class from the start. The only one that had cracked his exterior was Midoriya, of whom he didn't know if he could consider him a friend either.

What exactly was a friend?

What did lovers mean?

So many questions he didn't have the answer to. Growing up in isolation from people his age did no good to his social skills.

In that exact moment, laying in his sisters careful arms, trying desperately to comfort him, he put everything he realized over the past few days together.

He spent most of his life trying to oppose his father. It didn't matter what it was, all he thought was: 'As long as it's what he wants, I don't want it'.

Never did he think about what he himself wanted.

Never did he think about what friends meant, and if he wanted to have some.

And never did he think about falling in love.

He wanted to know what love was.

All of a sudden he realized how much he missed of his life.

His mother's words resonated in his ears. That he should move forward. That he shouldn't let anything hold him back.

His decisions were going to be his own. He wasn't trapped by the fate his father chose for him.

He would set his sight on who he wanted to become.

He would carve his own fate.

Never in his life did the words he told his sister that night seem this believable.

He softly patted his sister's back as he whispered the only thing that came to his mind.

"I'll be okay."

* * *

 _Okay, so I decided to crosspost this story frm my ao3 account - this is the first chapter, the title/song is from Fools by Lauren Aquilina! I hope you're in for this long ride and I really hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to write a comment and tell me what you think, or yell at me on tumblr seespr!_

 _The first chapter was only out of Shouto's POV, and I can tell you that this story is going to be pretty much Hurt/Comfort, so I hope you're in for that. The following chapters will also portray other points of views, as well as more interactions with our main pair~_

 _Have a wonderful day!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2: A speck of dust in this crazy ocean of fate_

 _A slowly melting heart searching for a new path, the sunset giving way for the start of a connection unseen before._  
 _An introduction to Yaoyorozu Momo._

He'll be okay, he had said.

Shouto sighed.

Just deciding that he was going to make his own decisions didn't suddenly give him the power to talk to his classmates. What was he even supposed to tell them? He knew he behaved like a real ass since joining class. That was when he had decided not to care about anyone who was around him – He just wanted to prove to his father that he was wrong. That he didn't need his fire to become number one. Well, that wasn't Shouto's goal anymore.

He wanted to become a hero. And a hero wouldn't just imprison himself. A hero needed to be able to cooperate with other heroes. That meant that Shouto would have to be able to cooperate with his classmates. If he got along with them, that might also mean he would be able to do teamwork. Teamwork, he thought. Who would want to work in a team with him after all?

It was easy to understand why exactly they wouldn't want to talk with him. He did nothing except boast his ego, declare war to someone he had only met a few weeks prior and then pick a fight with Bakugo.

Yeah, he guessed he didn't come off as the nicest person to be around. Okay, that's an understatement.

But now he had the resolution to change that. All he thought he knew to be true was shaken up in a day, just with a few words.

You see, Shouto was never an optimistic person to begin with. So with his new determination and his bag packed with schoolwork, he went on his way to school. Only to be stopped by Fuyumi calling him back and handing him money for lunch. Perfect start.

He had also finished the field training application. At Endeavor's hero agency. He would've never believed this to happen. But he decided he would not let anything hold him back, so he would use his father's knowledge as the number two hero to become a better hero than his shitty old man could ever be.

There was only a week left before the field training started, so he's got to try to better his relationship with everyone.

On his walk to school his mind wandered again.

He really didn't know what to do. He told his sister he'll be fine, yet he had no idea what he was supposed to do. 'Making your own decisions' sounded a lot easier than actually deciding something.

The sun had already risen, even though it was still a little chilly in the shadows, which didn't bother Shouto since his body was used to regulate his temperature in any weather. Now that he used his flames again he was even more resistant to harsh weather. (The cold never bothered him anyway)

How was he supposed to form his own path when he was already trapped in one? All of the decisions he made for himself always ended up at the same place his father wanted them to lead anyway.

He also hadn't made up his mind on his sudden engagement. Which wasn't even sudden, but he only found out yesterday, so he'd call it sudden. He hadn't really considered a relationship for him, but not even getting the chance to try was hard.

Maybe he'd get her family to hate him, so they'd cancel the wedding. That sounded like a good and easy plan. Most people hated him, he'd manage to pull that one off.

He didn't know how to work out his plan to make friends with people. It's not like he hated them – Okay, he kind of did, but he wasn't as bad as Bakugo. He'd at least have the control to not scream at everyone.

Most of the time.

Shouto was so in thought that even though he realized that he went inside the classroom, he still didn't think about what he was doing. So he took place in his seat, like always. Without saying hello or acknowledging anyone in the room. Congratulations, you already failed the friendly greeting, he thought.

He wanted to facepalm. Maybe he also wanted to cry a little? Taking a deep breath, he just sighed instead.

Looking around, he realized almost everyone was here already.

 _Why was change so difficult?_

They were all in their usual groups, talking about the places they chose for their field training. Should he try to engage someone in conversation? But he hadn't heard the beginning, what was he supposed to say? Maybe someone would ask him something? But why would they, when he never really bothered to answer before? How was he even supposed to say hello now when he already missed his chance? Even Midoriya seemed unapproachable while he was talking to Iida and Uraraka.

This was so much harder than he thought it would be.

"Good morning, everyone!" Yaoyorozu said when she entered the classroom. Her dark hair was put up in a spiky ponytail again, like it always was. She greeted the girls while walking up to her seat next to him in the last row. He only realized he was staring when she put her bag down and looked at him.

"Good morning, Todoroki," she then said smiling.

He knew this was his chance.

"Morning," he answered. She stopped taking her textbooks out of her bag to stare at him. Why did she look so…shocked? Was it because it was the first time he answered back? Was it bad? Should he not have said anything? Her stare quickly turned into a smile again which further confused him. What? Why?

"Did you get home safely yesterday?" she asked then. She was trying to engage in a conversation with him? How did that happen? Maybe she really just was that smart and understood what he was trying to do. But how could she? She didn't know of the circumstances in the first place.

"Yeah," he answered. She blushed a little and he didn't understand why. She then averted her gaze and mumbled something along the lines of 'of course he did, he's here after all, nice try, Momo', which he obviously heard. When she looked back at him and saw him still looking at her, she blushed even further, understanding that he had heard her. "Sorry for mumbling," she then said.

Before he could answer, the bell rang and Aizawa entered the room, his yellow sleeping bag already in hand.

She smiled at Shouto for a last time before taking place in her own seat. The dual colored boy looked at her for another while before looking to the front of the classroom when Aizawa started talking tiredly.

The next challenge was lunch. Everyone had already handed in their internship applications. Shouto directly went to get himself some cold soba, which they luckily almost always had.

Now was the question…Where was he supposed to sit? He usually searched for a place isolated from the rest of not only his class, but pretty much everyone. Like the rooftop for example.

He saw Midoriya, sitting with Iida and Uraraka. Would he disturb them if he asked to sit with them?

What… _What if they said no?_

What should he do if that was the case? It's not like he was scared-

Okay, maybe he was a little scared. In general. Not knowing what to do was damn nerve-wracking. He just wanted to go home again.

Why did he want to make friends again?

Because of teamwork? Or because he was jealous of their friendly interactions now that he realized he would've had the same chance if he hadn't behaved like the antisocial wreck he was?

He could do this.

He would do this.

Slowly he walked up to them. Every possible outcome playing in his head. He became nervous, even though no one else was able to see it. He was trained not to show any emotion that would give his enemy the upper hand.

In one swift motion he put his food tray on the table next to Iida. All three of them looked at him.

Time seemed to stand still as he stared back.

"Uh… Is this place still free?" he asked them.

Wow, that was great. Of course it was free, he had just placed his tray there after all. He should have asked if they were okay with him taking place there. They probably thought he was completely crazy. But then he looked at their reactions.

Uraraka started beaming at him, Iida nodded vigorously while pointing at the place he had already placed his food.

"Sure, sit down!" Midorya answered with his typical bright smile where his eyes close completely.

While taking place nodding there was only one thing in his mind. He did it. He would spend his first lunch with classmates!

Not that he knew what to do now.

Why was interacting with people so difficult?

They at least made the topic of the conversation easy.

"You're sure you're fine, Iida?" Midoriya asked him. Shouto understood what it was about. He'd heard about pro hero Ingenium's bloody encounter with the hero killer. Iida's big brother was lucky he was still alive, even though Shouto did not know how badly he was hurt and if there would be lasting damage.

The news reporter had said it was probable he wouldn't be able to work as a hero anymore.

"I'm fine, just a bit worried," Iida said. Shouto did not completely believe that. And Midoriya didn't either.

"Are you sure? Is there anything new about your brother's condition?" he tried.

Iida did not answer for a while. He looked at his rice for a while before smiling sadly at Midoriya again. "He's stable. But…" Iida did not finish the sentence.

…But he was not going to be fine, Shouto completed the sentence inside his head.

Midoriya looked at his noodles, deep in thought.

Shouto looked at Iida again. He tried to analyze his behavior. His facial expression. And he was shocked to see one he knew all too well. Shouto was indeed able to understand other's emotions, he was just bad at showing them himself. He could see hatred, he could see determination.

He could only conclude one thing which he'd seen in himself many, many times before.

Iida wanted revenge.

Shouto thought he'd use the chance he had while sitting with them, so he asked:

"Iida, which agency did you choose for your field training?"

The dark blue haired boy looked at him. "The Hosu city hero office," he answered smiling. So that's why.

His motive was now clear to Shouto. He chose Hosu to get closer to the hero killer. But why? Did he want to fight the hero killer? That was both reckless and dumb, especially if he was fueled by emotions. Well, Shouto thought about it, if something happened to Fuyumi… or his mother…

It wouldn't matter. He'd do it no matter how dumb it was.

"I understand," he replied before starting to eat his noodles.

He just hoped Iida would not get himself killed. But what was he supposed to say? 'Don't be angry, it's going to be fine'.

He couldn't say that because it wasn't true. Shouto was not a liar.

"Todoroki, you had the most agency proposals, how did you choose?" Midoriya asked then. Shouto did not stop eating his noodles as he contemplated what to say. All three of them were looking at him again.

He swallowed before deciding he would just say it.

"I chose Endeavor's," he started, "so I could witness the number two hero in action."

Midoriya gasped, since he didn't expect that - as Shouto and his old man weren't on the best terms. Uraraka was excited and said that she'd absolutely do the same. Iida just smiled at him.

"Is that okay?" Midoriya asked baffled. "Of course it's fine, Deku! Wouldn't you do the same if you had the connections?" Uraraka reasoned fast.

"Yeah, it's fine," the heterochromatic boy answered, to which Midoriya nodded.

The green haired boy now knew that his classmate finally tried to approach his life differently. And he was happy to see it happen.

"Hey, do you have everyone's phone numbers for emergencies?" he then asked.

Shouto was shaking his head in denial. Midoriya then held out his hand. The dual colored boy just looked at it. "Give me your phone," he then explained as he understood that his classmate did not understand the clue.

Shouto nodded and moved to take out his phone, unlocking it before handing it over.

Uraraka gaped at the background.

"Woah, who is that? She is so pretty!" she asked way too loud, so the table next to them turned to them.

…Which were their classmates as well. What a coincidence.

Kaminari was sitting with Sero and Kirishima on one end of the table, while Hagakure, Ashido, Yaoyorozu and Jirou were sitting on the other, leaving two seats in the middle free.

When Kaminari figured out that it was about a picture _of a girl_ on the phone he almost teleported next to Uraraka, wolf whistling as soon as he saw his background.

"Wow! That's a real babe! Is that your girlfriend?" he then asked way too loud for Shouto's liking again. Midoriya was almost crying from laughter. The phone never reached his hand, as Uraraka had grabbed it to look at it better.

Shouto was not happy at that comment.

Kaminari read his facial expression and realized he might have just dug his own grave.

And on the mention of the word girlfriend, he felt the whole table next to them crowd over at theirs.

"Uraraka's right! She's soooo pretty!" Hagakure dreamily said.

The other girls totally agreed with her, even Sero gave him a thumbs up.

If only they knew. This situation was so uncomfortable Shouto wanted to disappear into the ground.

"Todoroki, do you have a girlfriend?" Yaoyorozu asked smiling.

Now Shouto didn't know what to say. He couldn't just blurt out that he was freshly engaged.

But that wasn't even the question.

He then watched as Jirou smirked at Yaoyorozu, who blushed again and said a silent 'that's not what I meant!' while shaking her head and waving her hands in denial. Shouto did not understand why she was embarrassed.

Should he tell them whom they commented on? Should he play a joke on them? He knew he had absolutely no chill (at least not temperamentally, pun intended), so they would probably believe it if he played angry.

While everyone was still gathered around his phone, he stood up. That got everyone's attention as the metal chair creaked on the floor.

Kaminari looked like he was about to cry, while Kirishima patted his back sympathetically. Sero stopped laughing and Midoriya wiped the laughing tears from his eyes.

Shouto did not know what they expected him to do, freeze all of them to death? Well, that wouldn't be too far off; he did freeze half the stadium because he was upset before. But he wasn't really angry at the situation, they had no way of knowing whom they are talking about.

He decided that he would say the one and only truth.

"That's my mom," he said.

It was a picture his sister had given him, it was probably even older than him, but it was beautiful so he made it his background yesterday. She looked so happy, wearing a light flower dress while laughing widely at the camera. He didn't remember ever seeing her like this. It must've been from a time before she met his father.

And while half the group burst out laughing, Kaminari was begging for forgiveness.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't know! But your mom really is a pretty woman!" he tried to justify his earlier comment. All Shouto did was look at him directly, not wavering in his gaze.

The blond electricity user flinched.

Shouto smirked for a moment. He definitely owned the dangerous gaze.

"I was just adding my phone number, as Todoroki hasn't gotten any of our numbers yet. Should I add yours as wel-" Midoriya started, but couldn't finish his sentence as Ashido had already stolen the phone from Uraraka, saving her contact info. Shouto just hoped no one saw that he only had four contacts up until now. His sister's, his brother Natsuo's, Endeavor's and his mother's hospital since yesterday. He didn't even have the teacher's numbers since he thought he wouldn't need them. He'd save those later today, the paper with the contact information lying on his desk at home.

When the phone lastly reached Yaoyorozu she added her number solemnly smiling before handing it back to him. She smiled at him and he didn't know what to do. Should he smile back?

"Thanks," he answered instead, loud enough it would count for everyone.

"It's fine! Took you long enough!" Kirishima answered, his statement supported by nodding heads around him.

Shouto did not understand his classmates. But he realized something.

Maybe they weren't so bad after all.

What was that warm feeling in his chest? He didn't understand what it meant but he guessed he'd like to feel it more often.

He noticed both Midoriya, as well as Yaoyorozu staring at him while smiling. Maybe they realized something he didn't.

And maybe it was okay like this.

It was a start.

For the first time in his life, he believed in the words he told his sister the day before.

Maybe everything was going to be fine. Maybe he would be okay.

He looked around, saw all of his classmates standing around him. Took in all of the colors, the smiling faces he'd ignored for weeks before. Could it be that he wasn't alone after all?

Just one interaction. It was just one real interaction he ever had with his classmates outside training. Why did they act like he was one of them from the beginning?

 _Could it be that he started to believe in the good of people again?_

* * *

Momo sighed as she packed her school bags to leave for the day. She looked outside the window, realizing that the sun was already setting. She had spent way too much time studying today.

Still she couldn't remember her studying to be so… slow.

Her mind was full; she was sad and didn't know who to talk to so she could get this off her chest.

Her loss at the sports festival hit her a lot harder than she'd thought at first.

She couldn't tell her parents about it as they weren't that happy she wanted to become a hero in the first place. They'd rather see her take over the family business as she was an only child. But since Momo was little, she wanted to become a hero. Her parents were so happy when she'd made her first Martryoshka doll.

Creation. Her Quirk could be powerful, she knew that. When she created the right things at the right time and was able to use them properly.

And she failed at all of these as she faced Tokoyami.

Sure, a shield wasn't the worst idea. But she didn't even realize she was out of bounds before thinking about attacking. Her on the spot thinking had failed her completely. The match was so short and her resistance not enough at all. She wondered how she even ended up in the top sixteen.

Probably because she was in Todoroki's team. Of course it was because of him. He was smart, having put together a team that had defense, offense and speed at the same time, successfully getting the ten million. So it was pure luck that she got selected, wasn't it?

She didn't understand it, they were both recommended students. They should've entered school with at least similar levels of power.

But that boy… was a force of nature. He froze half the stadium in his fight with Sero. He was smart enough to figure out the thermodynamics of ice and fire, cooling the air down before letting it explode. Long and short range attacks, strong defense and durability, as he took Midoriya's bone breaking hits but could still fight on.

She didn't completely understand why he didn't use his flame side against Bakugo. He would've had a fair chance against him, might've even won.

But she didn't beat herself up about not knowing. No one really knew Todoroki Shouto.

Like during lunch break today. No one had seen him sit with other people before. Maybe something happened during the sports festival? The viewers couldn't hear what Midoriya said to him that made him release his flames or why he didn't use them in the first place.

Now he even started to get invested socially.

She was so jealous. She admired him on so _, so_ many levels.

They should've been the same but still… he seemed so much better.

Momo sighed again, her self-esteem obviously suffered. And she didn't know how to get it back up.

She tried talking to Jirou about it, a girl she was really close with, but she only told her she was smart herself, she was strong herself. But that wasn't what she wanted to hear. Jirou always said that, talking about her grades and all.

Momo just didn't know what could get her spirits up again.

Many times she tried to tell herself that she was in no way jealous of Todoroki and his abilities, but still she was comparing herself to him. Just why were they so different in the first place?

Shaking her head, she took her backpack and put it over her shoulder. When she left the classroom and looked out of the hallway windows she saw how the world was wrapped in beautiful sunset colors. The bright oranges and reds gave her a sudden feeling of warmth, even though she did not completely understand how that was possible. Was it something about how colors influence the feelings of people? She had read a book about that when she was young.

She took another moment to marvel at the last moments of the sun touching the horizon, realizing that it would be dark very, very soon, before quickly walking down to the lobby, where she changed her shoes. She was now headed for the parking lot, already taking out her phone to call her driver to pick her up. Gladly she told her mother in advance that she'd stay at school to study late today, in case Momo forgot about the time. Which she did.

Walking down the stairs while searching for her driver's contact she almost collided with a person before her but stopped at the last moment, wiggling in the air for a second. Stairs were not there for people to sit on, she thought a little annoyed.

She was already taking a breath to scold the student in front of her when she realized who it was.

How could she not recognize him faster?

The dual colored, red and white hair was so obvious after all. And he didn't even realize she almost tripped over him?

Taking another breath she took a step back, mouth pressed together in a thin line. She went down the next two steps so she would stand on the one he sat on but with a little distance. Again she wanted to speak but had to marvel at the sunset.

Okay, not directly the sunset – How the beautiful, now deep red color resonated in his hair and let him look so peaceful, so…so _beautiful_ was the only word she knew and she started blushing at her lack of words which was so untypical for her.

He still looked as deadpan as he always did, but there was something about the situation, the warmth of the picture that made him look content.

And because that wasn't enough he looked up at the darkening sky above them, which let his hair fall back so she had a view of his scar again. Suddenly it didn't remind her of burned skin anymore – It reminded her of the last moments the sun had, before the moon took her place.

She wanted to know how it came to be.

His hair looked so soft she suddenly felt the urge to touch it.

 _No, Momo, you're not doing that. Don't be silly_ , she told herself.

She shakily let go of the breath she hadn't noticed she held.

 _Speak, before he realizes you stared at him for a whole three minutes_ , she thought while looking at the clock on her phone.

"Todoroki? Why are you sitting on the stairs?" she then asked carefully and his head snapped towards her. He had totally spaced out before. His mind had been somewhere far away. He then looked around, realizing where he was sitting but not getting up. "Why are you here this late?" she then tried.

"Not sure," he answered unaffected, locking eyes with her. Momo swallowed hard. Why did she have to feel so inferior to him now when she never had a problem talking to him before?

She furrowed her brows at his statement. How can you be 'not sure' about sitting in front of the school for hours? Even though all of her taught manners spoke against it, she awkwardly sat down next to him, still at least an arm length away.

"You have a lot on your mind?" she guessed. He nodded but that didn't tell her anything at all. Maybe she shouldn't even care, maybe she should just get up and leave, but something inside her told her she should stay.

His gaze wandered again, up to the now dark blue sky. The first stars were visible and Momo could point out at least ten formations by that time of the year.

When she thought he wouldn't answer anymore and she had no idea what to ask anymore either, she put her arms on her knees and used them to rest her head on. All of her etiquette was already thrown overboard when she sat down on the dirty stairs, so she guessed it wouldn't matter anymore. She inwardly apologized to her mother.

"Do you believe in fate?" he suddenly asked.

She looked at him again and saw that he was not looking at her. What? Fate? Why did he ask that? Momo had never really thought about it. Was everything that happens a coincidence? Well, scientifically, it was. But maybe there was something above everything else – That made everything end up at one point without anyone being able to change it?

"I honestly don't know," she stated and he looked at her.

"Do you?" she then asked.

Again, he didn't answer for a while and she started to get chilly since it was still getting rather cold at night.

She analyzed his face again, memorizing everything she could see. That was mostly his left side, the red scar seemingly disappearing as it got darker. The only lights were coming from behind them as the school entrance was lighted. She realized she couldn't really see his face as the deep shadows hid most of his features.

Was he contemplating what to say? Should she ask something different?

"I do," he answered. She didn't expect that. Shouto Todoroki believed in fate?

"Even though I hope it can be changed," he then added while turning to look at her again. She had to hide a little giggle behind her hand, but then quickly apologized for laughing.

"If it could be changed, why would it be called fate?" she explained her humorous reaction.

Then he did something she wasn't sure if he was even capable of doing.

He smiled.

Shouto Todoroki just smiled at her.

Momo blushed again and hoped the lighting would not let him see her slightly red face. She could see the contours of his face even more through the strong lighting but it disappeared before she could even take it in completely.

All she did was blink and then it was gone. She wanted him to do it again. It was wonderful. Even though it really got cold at the moment, she realized her heart getting warm again. For a second she was sure his smile could end world hunger, or cure cancer, or whatever wonders where needed at the moment.

She wanted to hit herself for thinking something so silly again. They weren't even really friends, just what was she thinking about?

Maybe Jirou was right with saying that she was actually crushing on him a little. But that wasn't possible, Momo knew. It was silly.

She was so, _so_ silly.

But then another thing she asked herself came to her mind.

"Todoroki, why did you choose me for the cavalry battle?" she asked. Did he have a reason or was she just a person that was available at the right time?

He looked confused for a second before answering.

"Because you're smart," he started and she blinked, "Your Quirk allows you to create almost everything. No matter the situation; you'd be able to help out some way."

He thought she was smart? His reason for choosing her seemed logical. His planning had been great again. She admired him again. She wanted to sigh again, but let it be as she knew he wouldn't understand her struggle at all.

A soft wind caught them, but she quickly shuddered. When did it get so cold?

"Come closer," he noted and she looked at him dazzled. She should do _what_? Why would he want to get closer? He sighed when he realized that she didn't understand and moved a little closer to her. They didn't touch, but she still felt awkward being close to him. Her blush returned. That's when she realized. It was warm. He was warm. He had wanted her to come closer because he realized she was cold. She was sitting on his left side and could feel his warmth. She stopped shuddering.

"Better?" he asked, still not looking at her.

"Yes, thank you. That was really observant of you," Momo said quietly, "You actually realize a lot more about people than you want to admit, do you?"

Now he looked at her again and Momo registered just how close he was. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable, but something about it seemed so wrong yet she didn't pull away.

After a while she realized that he didn't answer.

"Something changed, didn't it? I know I don't know the details but you… are different from before the sports festival," Momo then told her observation. Of course she had watched him, he was the other recommended student after all. Nothing more.

Shouto nodded.

"Has it got something to do with you sitting in front of school this late?" she asked.

"I actually came back here," he admitted and she furrowed her brows.

He noticed her expression. "I argued with my shitty old man and wandered around. Somehow ended up here," he then reasoned.

"Your father, Endeavor. You don't like him that much, do you?" she observed again. He eyed her for a while.

"Understatement," was all he answered.

Momo didn't dare to ask why. Sure, Endeavor wasn't the nicest hero out there, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to know how it would be to have him as father.

But Shouto didn't talk about it like it was only that. Something must've happened.

He probably expected a lot.

Just like her parents did.

Always use the proper etiquette, greet people and be nice.

Meet those people, listen to that business partner. Her parents just didn't understand her want to become a hero. She wanted to save people. She didn't want her Quirk to be useless.

It had so much potential - she just had to use it to do good for the world.

Momo loved her parents and she'd do almost everything if the reasons were right, but they sometimes didn't understand her at all.

There was an awkward silence between them. She didn't know what to say anymore. She looked at her phone which told her it was already 9pm by now.

"Yaoyorozu? What exactly are friends?" he then suddenly asked. Momo was a little confused.

"Friends?" she thought for a second before answering, "Real friends are people that support you, people that you can tell anything. You just feel really comfortable with them," she tried explaining but couldn't quite catch the words to explain.

"Comfortable?" he asked.

"Yeah, like, you can hug them or cry in front of them without being embarrassed!" she finally got a grasp of what to say but got embarrassed by her terrible examples.

"Are they not friends if you don't feel like that around them?" he sounded a little different than usual while saying that. Kind of…sad?

"What do you mean?" she asked. She made a horrible guess. Todoroki Shouto didn't really have friends, did he? Just why?

He didn't answer her. It seemed like he was thinking deeply about the question.

It was silent again. Momo wondered if her mother was waiting for her. Or being anxious about where she was that long. But she didn't want to leave yet. She couldn't go now with the knowledge that Todoroki didn't know what friends are. And she hoped, she really hoped she was wrong with her guess.

"Todoroki?" she then asked and he looked at her again.

"Do you not have anyone to talk to like this? Like we do right now?" she asked while observing his reaction. She already knew he was brutally honest, so he would say the truth, right? If he even answered.

Her heart sank when he shook his head.

"Not really," he said, while putting a hand on his chin, mimicking a thinking pose, "Maybe Midoriya but I don't know 'bout that either."

Momo took a deep breath. She realized that just because she admired him for his skills, he did have his own problems as well. That didn't lessen her admiration for him at all but it still bothered her. He did have everything; he was the son of the nr. 2 hero, he was a brilliant fighter and smart as well. How could it be that he had no friends at all?

"Why?" was all she could ask. Did it have something to do with the question about fate earlier on? Well, it didn't have to since he was extremely difficult to read.

He looked at her again.

There was a silent sound of something vibrating as Shouto took out his phone and looked at the caller's ID. He answered the call and held it to his ear.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I'll come home soon," he said and hung up.

"My sister. I guess I'll have to get going. How are you getting home?" Momo was disappointed that they'd already have to leave but took out her phone.

"My driver'll pick me up. Do you want a ride?" she asked.

He shook his head. "I'm fine," he started, "Call. I'll stay till he's here."

Momo nodded and quickly dialed the number.

After she hung up she looked at the clock again. She had maybe seven minutes until the driver would be here.

She knew he wouldn't answer her question anymore.

Instead she thought about what to say.

"Midoriya…I think he'd like to be your friend," she said surely.

"You think so?" he asked and she couldn't help but note how tired he sounded.

She nodded while smiling at him.

"I'm sure."

Time passed too fast and she could already see the headlights of her driver's car. They both got up and he walked her towards the parking lot. She suddenly had an idea.

"Todoroki. If you want someone to talk to…You can call _me_ ," she said grinning. His eyes widened for a moment and she had to giggle again.

"You have my number," she explained.

She was about to open the door of the car that lead to the backseat, when she paused and looked him over again.

"I think most of us would like to be your friends. You just have to open up to us a little," she said, still smiling.

He leaned his head to the side a little, before looking to the ground and then looking at her again. The motion seemed like he was pondering her suggestion.

She was caught on his heterochromatic eyes, openly staring.

"Yaoyorozu," he said and she blinked to get out of her daze, "Good night."

"Good night!" she replied while waving and entering the car.

She watched him through the darkly toned car window until she couldn't see him anymore.

"Who was that?" her driver, Kori, asked interestedly.

"Just a friend of mine," she replied without thinking before she blushed again. So she already considered him a friend anyway.

She suddenly realized how cold she felt as his warmth wasn't there anymore.

Yes, she thought, he was warm. The icy shell he showed them even through most of the sports festival slowly melted. And she was happy to witness it.

When she got home there was a single message from an unsaved number on her phone.

'Home?' it said.

She knew only one person that would ask her, and knew she was at school late, if she came home safely by only using one word.

She shook her head while grinning and saved the number.

She didn't realize her mother staring at her like she was a complete lunatic and didn't really care either. Neither that she couldn't even remember what she tried to study that day.

She just stared at her new contact.

 _Todoroki Shouto._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: I'm the best kind of mess

A child caged in his own life.  
Friendship forms where fear was planted and the night's are long when waiting for a sign.

When Shouto reached home that evening, his sister was already waiting in the kitchen. Once he closed the door behind him she was standing in front of him with crossed arms. She looked really, really tired. Well, it already was past ten, so he guessed that's why.

"Are you okay?" she asked, leaning against the wall while he was taking off his shoes.  
"I'm fine. Wandered around a bit," he explained, knowing she would be worried otherwise.  
"What were you arguing about this time? Even father's not leaving his study." His sister sounded even more tired than she looked like, which told him that he was officially one of the reasons she was this way.  
"Marriage and mom," Shouto replied, standing up straight again and looking through the hallway to his father's study. It was almost too silent.

"You still can't just leave and disappear all day!" she then said exhausted. She was whispering but he could still hear that she was angry.

"Sorry for worrying you," he apologized, deadpan as ever.  
His sister just sighed.

"It's okay. Please don't do that again. I know you can take care of yourself but I don't like you going somewhere without saying anything."

"Okay," he then said while walking past his sister.

"At least call me, okay?" she then calls after him while he's walking towards the kitchen. He was pretty sure it wasn't a good idea to eat that late at night, but he couldn't seem to care.

"There're some leftovers in the fridge," Fuyumi told him as she turned up next to him in the kitchen, already opening the fridge to hand him the plate.  
"Thanks," he replied and put the plate on the table, sitting in front of it and heating it with his left hand. He did not have enough patience to microwave it.  
As always, his sister was taking place opposite him.  
"I met a classmate today," he then started the conversation. Fuyumi looked surprised.  
"Really? Where you at school again?" she asked while crossing her arms in front of her chest, leaning back in the chair.  
"Yeah. She was studying late, I guess." Shouto started eating the fried rice with his spoon.  
"She? You met a girl?" She raised her eyebrows at that.  
"The one who was on my cavalry team at the sports festival," he explained, mouth still half full. Fuyumi frowned at his manners but knew he wouldn't even care.  
"The black haired one? What was she called…Yaoyorozu?" His sister asked while ignoring his antics.  
Shouto nodded while chewing.

"She's nice," he stated thinking about their conversation, which was so meaningful and still about nothing in concrete. But it was great in getting his mind of the argument he'd had a few hours prior. His father had confronted him about the engagement, telling him to just accept his fate.  
That may have been the reason he'd asked Yaoyorozu about fate, but he wasn't too sure.

He must admit he hadn't realized she was there until she started talking to him, startling him a little. She didn't seem to notice that.

Fate was something he could not not believe in, since it was the first thing he was taught when he was little. Would it really be his fate to surpass All Might and marry a stranger to lead the life his father already chose? He said he'd make his own decisions. But if there really was something like fate, his decisions wouldn't change anything. He'd still end up in the same place. So he had to question if there was something like that, a future, a plan laid out for every person.

Was it his mother's fate to end up locked in a hospital room?

That couldn't be true.

Fate couldn't actually be this cruel.

But yet he knew it was. Some people just didn't have the luck to lead a happy life full of love, like him.

Did the girl he was going to marry feel the same about this?

 _She'd be unhappy anyway_.

He wouldn't bring her happiness. He couldn't.

In that way he realized he was the same as his father again, hurting the one he was supposed to love without even knowing her. That's the reason he got angry again. The only thing he never wanted was to become like his father.  
His bastard excuse of a father.  
What if his fate was to turn out like him? He was too similar to him in too many ways, having no proper anger management, no idea of relationships or love or whatever there is included.

He'd never forget Yaoyorozu's facial expression when he told her he didn't really have friends. It wasn't pity, which he would've expected. It was a frown, like she already anticipated that but still hoped he wouldn't say it. But he couldn't be sure, he didn't understand her.

She'd also asked him why he chose her during the sports festival even though he thought it was obvious. He couldn't understand her at all.

"Nice?" his sister then asked, leaning on the table to look at him interested. "My antisocial little brother thinks a person is nice? Are you really fine?" she joked while smiling.

"I'm great," he replied annoyed at her joke, shoving another giant spoon of rice in his mouth.

Well, he thought a few more of his classmates were pretty nice. Some where even fun to be around, like Kaminari, whom he might be teasing most of the time, but who knows for sure, really.

Of course he felt kind of connected to Midoriya after telling him his life story, which he might have regretted telling a few times, but it let him made peace with his flame side so it was okay. That's one thing Shouto realized about himself – He either said nothing at all, or absolutely everything.  
He had just wanted to ask him about his connection to All Might, and tell him he'd overcome him with only his ice side as a challenge. Yet he ended up telling his clueless classmate his entire terrible life story, officially traumatizing him. He still had no idea how that happened.

Maybe it was something like Yaoyorozu said… _Wanting to talk to somebody_ or something.

"Did dad say anything about when you are going to meet the girl?" she asked him after a long time of silence and after he finished his dinner. Shouto was just standing up to put the dishes in the sink when he stopped midway. He then sighed and put the dishes on the counter while turning around to face his sister instead.

"After finals, during the summer break," he explained. His sister nodded.

"Maybe…Just maybe… she's going to be nice. Maybe you'll like her," Fuyumi said while standing next to him. "Here, let me do the dishes. You go rest, there's school tomorrow."

Shouto blinked slowly while watching his sister wash the dishes.

Maybe he'll _…like her_?

He never thought about the possibility of that.

"Night, Fuyumi," he said quietly while she smiled at him.  
"Good night, Shouto," she said before turning back to the dishes.

It was when he was lying in bed, on top of his blanket while staring at the ceiling, that he wrote Yaoyorozu a message. He didn't know what made him do that. In the black screens reflection he could see his own black and blue eyes. He scratched the back of his head before he unlocked the phone, looking at his mother's picture again, which made him smile sadly.

Then he stared at his contacts, his now twenty-four contacts, as his classmates added even the people that weren't in the cafeteria this lunchtime. He even had the contact information of damn Bakugo, who would've rather killed the dual Quirk user before giving him his contacts.  
Shouto could actually scroll through his contact list.  
 _Scroll_!  
He felt like he achieved something important.

He found her number quickly, as she saved herself under 'Yaoyorozu Momo' – and he always called her Yaoyorozu.

 _Momo_ , he thought, _translates to one hundred._

What was he supposed to send her? How did normal people start a conversation?

"Home?" he read out loud as he send the message. Better to just get to the point. Even thinking about small talk was pointless to him.

He thought about the conversation they had. How he had actually asked her if she believed in fate. Or what friends were. He wasn't sure if he was an idiot after all.

But well, what else were they supposed to talk about?

Why did she ask him about the reason for choosing her in the cavalry battle?

He almost laughed when he thought about how awkward they were today. At least they had been awkward together. For example how she didn't realize his proposal to get closer was to get her a little warmer.  
He may be a little emotionally stunted, but he could still see when someone was obviously cold.  
He had gotten close to her then, but only close enough so she'd feel his Quirk.  
Any closer and he was sure he would've backed away as he didn't like casually rubbing shoulders together.

It didn't take long until he received an answer.  
'Yes, I reached home safely! Thank you for asking. Did you get home safely?' it said. Well, she could've protected herself even if there was trouble on the way, but it was nice to hear anyway. He wondered why she would care if he got home alright, yet he thought it was probably something about socials he didn't get.

'Yeah,' he answered.

He was about to turn his phone off to go to sleep, when it vibrated again.

'Good night, Todoroki. It was nice talking to you today.'

Shouto blinked slowly. It was nice…having talked to him? Did she really think so?

He knew she wasn't someone with bad intentions, so she wouldn't lie to him. Not about something like that.  
And in the dark of his room, only illuminated by his phone's way too bright lights, he smiled.

He smiled, completely free and without anyone around so he didn't bother with washing the smile away.

"Night, Yaoyorozu," he whispered as he wrote it, before hitting send and activating his alarm for school tomorrow.

He slept well that night, dreaming off an imaginary girl, smiling brightly at him.

That smile reminded him of someone but he couldn't grasp who it was.

All he saw were eyes, dark as onyx.

In one way or another, Shouto guessed right. Iida did something dumb and dangerous. And Midoriya stepped in, being smart enough to call for help but still having to be dumb to consider taking on the hero killer alone.  
At least Shouto had understood what his sent location meant.  
Not that he was any smarter for stepping in.  
Now both Midoriya (through the sports festival) and Iida (through saving his left arm) had malfunctioning hands.

"No, really. Maybe I should change my hero name," he had said completely serious while staring at his hands.

"…No, Todoroki. Just no," Midoriya replied, already guessing where he would be going with this.

"Call me 'The hand crusher', that guy from the league will cower in fear," he said and only looked up when both Iida and Midoriya burst out laughing again. "…I'm being serious here," he mumbled.

"I apologize on behalf of both Midoriya and myself for laughing, but we didn't know you'd be so fun to be around," Iida said while wiping the tears of laughter away from under his eyes.

Midoriya agreed nodding.

"You should've talked to us earlier! Then we wouldn't have missed out on stuff like this," he added with a bright grin.

Todoroki blinked. Maybe Yaoyorozu had been right. Maybe they'd actually like to have him as a friend after all.

He didn't think that possible after he behaved like a real prick for most of the time they'd known him.

What was he supposed to say to that?  
They really were nice but he had no clue as how to behave amongst friends. Did they really think he was serious all the time?

Well, he knew he did look serious most of the time. Or was it funny because he looked serious? He didn't understand humor either. Another thing to add to his list of things he'd have to learn one day.

But he kind of did actually wreck their hands. Even if it was indirectly. Out of the three he officially sustained the least injuries, with only a scratch in the face and… well, two stabbing wounds on his left arm.

He'd been through worse. There wouldn't be any lasting damage, except two long scars which will remind him to be more careful next time.  
He had realized one thing: He relied on his Quirk way too much. The hero killer was absolutely right about that.  
Why use physical combat when freezing someone took so much less effort? Why push someone away when you can just enflame yourself so the other person has to pull back to not get burnt?  
It made sense in a way, yet the hero killer was right. It's not like he was really bad at hand to hand combat, but when he thought about the sports festival…He was human punching bag for Midoriya and couldn't do anything against Bakugo.  
Well, he didn't really try against Bakugo though, so he might have a different chance using his flames, but he wouldn't ask him for a fight.

No way, Shouto didn't want to die right now. Sooner or later they'd have to have a rematch. Most probably during hero class, and then there would be a teacher to hopefully intervene before there were any casualties through a hero in training.

Yes, Shouto thought Bakugo was weird. But that was fine; he knew he thought the same about him. They were rivals and well, not friends, but he didn't actually hate him. Even though Shouto wasn't sure if that was mutual. Bakugo might hate him for kind of letting him win at the sports festival.

Shouto couldn't bother himself to care.

A while later Shouto was lying in his hospital bed, staring at the ceiling.

While looking at his bandaged arm, he wondered if his future wife would care about scars. She shouldn't, Shouto thought, since he was going to become a hero. And that would probably result in many more scars than just those tiny scratches.

Of course there was also the obvious burn scar in his face, which's story he'd rather not have anyone else know.

Would she hate it?

Find it ugly?

He did, but that didn't matter.

All it did was remind him of the pain his mother and he had to go through.  
He didn't even know her name. Or what she was doing at the moment, who she wanted to become.  
Was she younger than him? Or older? That would probably influence the wedding date.  
He couldn't wrap his mind around it. He was actually going to marry soon?  
Did that even make sense?  
It wasn't even completely legal.  
There always were exceptions but he never thought he might be one of them.

Shit, he didn't even know if he wanted to get married at all. So much could go wrong. He didn't have the qualifications for a marriage. What exactly was it even going to take? What was marital life supposed to look like in normal, loving and peaceful households? He had no damn clue.

That was when Shouto had an idea. There was someone right here whom he could ask.

Todoroki turned in his hospital bed so he was able to see Iida. Midoriya was outside, calling his mother, which meant he'd be gone for another while.

"Iida?" Shouto asked carefully. Okay, he sounded like always but he swore he intended to be careful.

The dark blue haired boy was looking at his phone, probably texting his mother. His brother had regained consciousness this morning. And while these were good news, it was now known he wouldn't be able to use his legs anymore.

"Yes, Todoroki?" the teen answered him, laying down his phone and getting up to properly look at the person in the bed in front of his. Yeah, manners Shouto didn't have. Shouto let his head fall into the pillows again.

"You're from one of the more prestigious hero families, right?" the dual colored boy asked. Of course he was. That was a rhetoric question since Shouto didn't know how to address the topic.

"I am, but why do you ask?" Iida replied. Shouto was silent again. Should he ask? Or was that a dumb question again? He didn't know.  
He sighed.

"Are your parents gonna marry you off?"

He should've guessed he would be met with an awkward silence. When he thought the pause had gotten too long, he sat up a bit to look at the boy on the bed opposite his.

Iida put his phone away and pushed back his glasses. The motion reminded Shouto of his sister. The dark haired teen sat up completely and looked him over.

His right arm was in a sling, preventing it from getting injured more while it healed.

Shouto stared at him, not moving an inch.

"Are you asking if my parents arranged a marriage for me?" he asked frowning.

The red and white haired teen nodded before deciding it would be less painful for his neck if he just sat up as well. Shouto got up and walked over to the window. It was a bright day outside and he could see the little city of Hosu. Saw how the tiny people were going their own ways. He asked himself if they had the power to decide over their lives. If they had a better fate than him.

"Yeah," he replied absent-mindedly, before turning back to Iida.

"Hm. I see," Iida started while getting up as well and standing next to him. The dark haired boy was way taller than him, older as well. Maybe he'd have some insight or something. He was smart, and he was the class rep. And he was sure he wouldn't run off and tell everyone. Maybe he'd have simila-

"No. I don't think they have. Maybe they will one day when I'm old enough to marry."

Shouto let out a single exhausted breathy laugh before shaking his head.

No, their problems weren't similar at all.

"Old enough?" he whispered, more to himself.

No one cared if he was old enough to marry. To give part of his life away. He finally had the conviction to change his life and become a hero, one like All Might, whom people could trust and put their faith into, without it being a terrible man behind the scenes like his father was, but he couldn't change the path that his father had already formed.  
Ever since he was a child he tried to oppose his father, tried to live his life differently from him.  
He was never old enough.

Five years.

He was five years old when his father first decided to take away his free will.

His childhood wasn't normal, his younger teenage years weren't normal, but now he tried to find friends like normal people did. He wanted to understand people.

He wanted to know what it felt like to fall in love.

 _He was a child, stumbling in footsteps way too big for him, in a snowfield too deep to cross, searching for a way out of a life that didn't feel like it was his in the first place._

* * *

Iida was watching his smaller classmate. There had to be a reason why Todoroki asked him something like that.

He didn't seem to be the type to talk about things without any reason – Just like he asked him where he was doing his field training.

Tenya had understood the younger one already guessed what he wanted to do. But he still didn't know how to stop him so he'd instead saved him from the immediate danger.

His words had inspired him to fight.  
To not give up when he actually already did. He had failed as a class representative. He had failed as a friend, as people got hurt because of him.

But he had gotten up again, and they brought the hero killer down. Even though they would be dead if he actually tried to kill them – they fought and they won.

Iida was thankful to both of his classmates for saving him from a fight he started without any logical and calm thinking.

So he tried his best to understand the problem his younger classmate, no, friend, had. Of course it had to do with the question about his parents plans for his future, so he guessed it would be most logical to start with that.

"Are your parents arranging a marriage for you?" he asked Todoroki carefully.

He was trying his best to try and figure out what bothered him.

"… Yeah," was his hesitant answer. But something was off. He knew he missed a little detail and couldn't grasp what it was. Then he realized it.

"Do you know the girl?"

"No," Todoroki said while shaking his head.

"Is that what's bothering you?"

The heterochromatic eyes looked up at him, before turning back to the world outside the window.  
Iida guessed he wouldn't receive an answer.

"Do you know when the wedding will be?" he then asked, having no idea what else could be on the mind of the fifteen year old in front of him.  
He then saw a smirk on the boys lips. But his eyes didn't smile. It was sarcastic.

"Next year," he said as deadpan as ever.

Iida didn't understand. Marriage wasn't allowed before a man was eighteen years of age. It wouldn't be possible before graduation as the younger boy was born in January.

Todoroki saw his confusion.

"But how…?" Iida asked then.

Todoroki was shaking his head, then sighed and turned around, leaning on the windowsill.

It didn't make sense and Iida was about to tell him that when Midoriya entered the room, looking a little exhausted, probably from his mother's worried crying.  
When Iida received another look from black and blue eyes, he realized he shouldn't say anything.

Even though he asked himself why he had asked him in the first place, he stayed quiet. Iida realized again that all people had something that's weighing on their shoulders. And just like Todoroki figured out he had planned something really dumb, he now knew one of his worries. But what should he do with that information?

He was sure they weren't close enough he'd actually open up about his feelings – Iida was sure he had them but couldn't really show them, even though he didn't know why. And again he was sure he'd never find out the 'why'. He could ask Midoriya if he knew something, but that would obviously betray the trust that Tdoroki put in him.

If it could be called trust or just curiosity if someone else had the same problems, Iida didn't know.

"Everything okay?" Midoriya then asked both of them, looking from one to the other.

"Everything's alright," Iida said with a little glance to the dual Quirk user, before he looked at Midoriya.

Iida knew there was nothing he could do. Nothing he could say to take the burden of Todoroki's shoulder.

But he still had to wipe a little tear from his eye. Even though he had failed as a class representative, the younger one had trusted him with his personal life. He had told him about his struggles, even though he'd always tried to isolate himself.

 _Thank you for putting your trust in me, I'll keep this secret for you_ , was all Iida could think at that moment.

* * *

Momo had been waiting for a response for way too long. It seemed like the seconds took hours to pass.

She had heard. Midoriya, Todoroki and Iida got into contact with the hero killer.

Were they fine?

How did that happen?

How high was the possibility Iida met the hero killer this shortly after his brother was injured?

Would at least anyone reply and tell her if everyone's alright?

She had texted all three of them – Wouldn't there be anyone who'd bother with calming her nerves?

'Is everything alright? I heard you got into contact with the hero killer,' she had sent to all of them. It had been at least a few hours since she had typed those messages – and she was nervous ever since.

What if one of her classmates got hurt badly?

What if they ended up paralyzed like Ingenium?

Momo gulped. She didn't even want to think about it. All of her classmates had already found a place in her heart. Except maybe Mineta, but she wouldn't want to see him get hurt like this either, even though he treated her like a piece of meat.

 _What if she lost any of them?_

She looked at her hands while she was sitting on her bed, realizing she was shaking all over. The day before the last day of field training was already over and it was dark outside. It was late and Momo knew she should go to sleep but she wouldn't be able to if no one answered.

Her nerves wouldn't let her sleep.  
She had already changed into her light blue pajamas, a long button up with short pants and was in bed, resting against the headboard, the blanket draped over her.

Taking a deep breath she took another look at her phone and looked at the second message she had sent Todoroki.

'Did you get hurt? I hope you're fine, please call me if you read that.'

Why had she sent that to him specifically?

Maybe because of their talk after school last week?

She had told him he could call her if anything happened. Everyone could come to her for an open ear and her classmates knew that. But the fact that she had to tell him that it also counted for him naturally gave him a special place in her mind. Momo knew she worried too much and all of them were aspiring heroes who could take care of themselves.  
Still, she couldn't stop worrying. She definitely wasn't worried about him because she liked him. Not at all, that would be really silly.

It was just when she had sighed again, putting her hair behind her ear, that she heard her familiar ringtone. She stared at the caller ID for a second before realizing who called.

Her heart almost skipped a beat from relief.

"Todoroki?" she asked after accepting the call, gathering her blanket in her fist.

"Yaoyorozu," he replied.  
She could feel how a weight was lifted from her shoulders. She sighed from relief. He was fine. He survived fighting the hero killer. Even if she didn't know what happened, she was incredibly proud of him.

"Are you okay? Did you get hurt?" Momo started, holding her blanket even tighter in her fist, "Are Midoriya and Iida with you? Are they okay? What happened?"

She couldn't stop asking questions, all of her nerves unloading on the poor guy that just called her for the first time.

"Did you win against the hero killer? Was it-"

"Yaoyorozu," Todoroki interrupted her and she was silent in an instant. She could only hear him let out a long breath.

"One question at a time," he said, sounding incredibly tired.  
Momo let go of the breath she hadn't realized she was holding since he interrupted her.

"Are you three okay?" she decided was best to ask first.

"Some minor and some borderline major injuries," he answered calmly, having made a pause in between speaking, as if he contemplated what to say, "…but we'll be alright, I guess."

Momo nodded, being relieved none of them got hurt too badly.

"Did you really fight the hero killer? I heard Endeavor saved you after contact, but they didn't say too much in the news."

She was met with silence for a little while, only hearing his regular breaths. She didn't think it was possible to get Goosebumps from listening someone else breathe. He didn't do anything but she still gave attention to every breath he took. After letting go of her blanket, she rubbed her other arm while pouting.

Just why did she react to him like this?

"Well…Endeavor saved us, right," he answered annoyed. He was properly incredibly annoyed since he wasn't on best terms with his father, Momo thought.

She still wondered why. He was the number two hero, saved countless lives and seemed okay over all, maybe a little bad with the press but she was sure he'd be better at home.

 _He had to be._

Todoroki hadn't even used his flames before the sports festival and never called his father by his name, at least not without mockery. Momo didn't want to repeat the exact words he used. Yeah, respectful was a word she'd never use to describe Todoroki in general, so maybe it was just his personality.

But why didn't he tell her what happened with the hero killer?  
He was an honest guy, he'd surely tell her. If he wanted to. Maybe he wasn't allowed to? She decided not to pry farther. It would be for the better.

"How did your field training go?" she asked while putting a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Useful," Todoroki started and he seemed a little less annoyed now. Not happy either, but calm again.

"I learned how to use my flame Quirk," he said.

Momo was stunned. He…didn't even know how to use his flame Quirk?

"You learned that in five days?" she asked, sounding just a little bit excited.

"Most of it, yes. Just missing a little practice," he explained.

Her admiration for him did not ever seem to falter. It only grew further.

"That's great!" Momo got up on her knees, crumpling her sheets and blankets while putting her fist up in the air in a champion's pose.

Why did she feel a sense of victory when he succeeded in something?

 _Did that even make sense_?

"How was…your field training?" Todoroki then asked. She was happy he was showing the initiative of asking her questions.  
But then she was reminded of her…underwhelming field training with Uwabami.

Momo sighed while sitting down on her knees.  
"It was okay," she replied. Even though it wasn't the best choice it was still an experience she would treasure since heroes had to deal with publicity and press many times. She was glad for everything she'd learned, even though it wasn't what she'd expected at all.

With her answer came an awkward silence. She didn't know how to break it.  
Yet he did and it was something she would've never expected.

"About Midoriya… you were right, I think. He's a friend, even though I'm sometimes uncomfortable," he said quietly, as if he wasn't alone in the room and trying to keep the conversation private.

Momo was smiling brightly.

"I told you he was or would be soon," she replied letting herself fall on the mattress again.

"… Yeah," he said after a long pause.

She could now hear him breathing again, even though she now realized quiet talking in the background.

Why didn't she notice that earlier?

Was she that distracted by him?

Momo blushed at her rapidly beating heart and looked at the time on her phone. She held a hand over her heart, trying to understand what was going on with her. She was so embarrassed at her sudden outburst.

"Oh, it's so late already! I guess I'll go to bed now, sleep well!" she said quickly before taking the phone away from her ear to hang up, as she heard him say:

"Wait, Yaoyorozu."

"Yes?" she replied quietly.

"Thanks."

Momo blinked. Why did he say thank you? She didn't even do anything.  
She could hear him take a deep breath.

"Good night, Yaoyorozu," he said.  
Stunned at his behavior she didn't even notice he had already hung up before she whispered a breathy:  
"Good night, Todoroki."

When she looked at her phone, the screen already black, she buried her face in her hands with a squeal.

She was a silly, _silly_ girl.


End file.
